Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize