I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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