I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
