Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
