I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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