I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
