eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
