She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
