David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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