im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
