my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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