Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
