You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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