I like to think it a success when the cops are called
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
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im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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