I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
