your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
