What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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