I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
