Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
