it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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