the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i believe in u and ur pee
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