the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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