New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
