I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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