I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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