I CAN MOONWALK!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
