Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
