Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize