Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
