Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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