Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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