You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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