Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
