Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
