I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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