Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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