That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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