if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
