South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
