im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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