it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
