Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
