I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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