so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
