you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize