I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize