with your own penis?
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
