Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
