Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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