I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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