Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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