Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize