Having a random hookup so left but love u
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
