hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
honey bunches of taint.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
