So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So. Much. Porn.
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