why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
