Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
