Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
