either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
