The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize