'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
