I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
