so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
